Pancake ATTACK in Nashville

[Gregg Mwendwa]

I didn’t sleep well last night. I intended to post while I was in Nashvegas, but I feared they would lynch me. I am now comfortable writing this because I am out of Nashville, in the tiny neighborhood of Carthage. This is a nice small town, cut off from the rest of the world by a bridge that collapsed some months ago. they just received their first big walmart and they are proud of it. This neighborhood boasts of having the highest teenage pregnancies in the whole of the United States. One of the girls who helps out with the kids ministry told me that they always have a great time every Sunday, the church is colored with these little dudes singing alongside the band (and sermon too) inconsistent “fluke” tunes, tunes that are not only random but also uncoordinated and inconsistent. What was I writing about? Oh C$shville weekend!

Nashville is known for a few good things, and several traditions. In addition to the fine humid weather and the kinda slow pace of life, country music was born here in a year that is still subject to speculation. Just the same way teenagers flock Hollywood seeking to chase for the American dream, “wanna be” musicians (like Van Buskirk of the Rhode Island fame) come here too to try and make a name in their musical careers. To cater for such folks, Nashville has a club called Wanna Bs, which provides an arena for wanna be artists to belt out some of the finest karaoke sessions. The musical street, Hard Rock Café and Musicians Hall Of Fame and Museum stand as a testimony to this, what we could call “music tradition”. But Nashville has a few more traditions than just meets the eye. I had the privilege to discover one on Sunday morning; this was the PANCAKE tradition.

Pancake Pantry is a neat eating place, where you would get a pancake of any flavor, size, color and shape. Located in downtown Nashville, the spot has ample packing, but lacks adequate seating space. Allison, (the most objective girl I have ever met in the world and a dear friend of mine here in Nashville), decided to take us for a pancake treat on Sunday morning. Obviously, we woke up early, dressed up and psyched up to the pancake occasion, keeping in mind it was a bit drizzly and we had to be at Mid Town church at 1000hrs. The drive to Pantry was exciting until I we were outside the entrance. We don’t have a tradition of queuing for food in restaurants in Nairobi thus I have never queued for food save in SOME fast food cafes, (but it is the culture here that you have to queue and wait for your turn to be allocated a table). May be many people in Nairobi don’t eat out that much, and so the restaurants are NOT as occupied to an extend that you have to queue for a table. In fact when you find one restaurant full, you walk to the next ASAP. People here eat out, A LOT. We had some 25 or so people ahead of us in the queue, and so we had to stand out in the drizzle waiting to eat a pancake. I asked Alli “did you figure out that this was going to happen?” she replied that she had the feeling that since it was drizzling, people wont have that much psyche coming out to eat pancake and thus she didn’t expect such a queue. I thought she would change her mind and have us go to a different restaurant, but 30 minutes later, the five of us were still crowded under a handbag-size umbrella. But woe unto others who didn’t have access to any umbrella of any size.

I had been watching this fine lady since she joined the queue. Just like anyone else, she had dressed up to the occasion but I wondered why she had chosen a sleeveless in this weather, but I remembered that in Nairobi, we too “freeze and shine”. Of course I fought the idea of walking up to her and share an imaginary umbrella, but my intention would have been to know what makes her withstand this bad weather coupled with a long queue in the all in the love of eating a pancake at pancake pantry. I will be honest to tell you that when she arrived, her smile was fresh and striking – almost contagious. As time went by, she was going down under the weather bit by bit, and she was proactive enough to grab this rudimentary umbrella from the newspaper stand. From the bottom of my heart, I recommend her to the Nobel Prize of Optimism – she did hang in there for more than an hour, hoping that this newsprint would not get extremely soaked (but after all she would grab another from the newspaper stand). As she went down under the drizzle, the tinkle in her smile withered somewhat, and as you can see - this is what remained, but at least she managed a smile, or something like that. As I prayed to God to bless her smile and the pancake she was about to have, it was our turn to get inside and get seated. Thanks.

The fame of this pancake is almost overrated, looking at what this fine lady had to go through. This pancake is almost like a rock band, and so I renamed the place, The BAND-CAKE Pantry. Just like music, the pantry offers all genres of pancakes. On the wall was a painting of people queuing to get into the pantry, so I figured that queuing at the pancake pantry was also one of Nashville’s traditions. This explains why no one (except me) seemed to be bothered, whereas this baby had to hang out on this cold floor waiting for his dad to grab some free coffee and continue queuing. They have free coffee dispensing machines outside, so you can grab coffee as u wait for the queue to move.

The pancakes are as heavy as lead, and expensive too, the cheapest was like 7 bucks. We were almost getting late for church as we enjoyed band-cake entertainment, so some of us decided to pack and take away. I was sure this was the only meal I would have for the day, so I got a nice fill. I was moaning silently as we went to church, trying to manage the weight below my chest (I was almost very pregnant and nauseating). I remember feeling dizzy as we took our seats in the church; I saw this hazy silhouette of Don dragging itself to the seats across me. As we sat down to listen to the sermon, I got a PANCAKE ATTACK! Pancake comfort stole my body and soul, and I made my way smoothly to where you have never been before – the band-cake county. The band-cake fairy was playing tracks from the latest album, tunes that you may NEVER find on itunes, the first was called “Squinting at the pastor”, the second was “Sleep baby sleep” and the third was “You are snoring”. I was seated next to Mike Barrow, who didn’t bother to interrupt my band-cake fairy visit. He is a nurse and should have assisted me recover from the attack, but I guess he figured out that I was sharing in the same agony that he experienced some time, one upon a time.

Mike Barrow is a self confessed victim of PANCAKE ATTACK attack. He now has an addiction to Doritos, and the craving for them has got me worried...(I always carry some for him everywhere we go, just incase the craving strikes!) As you can see from this picture, he cant be trusted. Well, Mike once feasted on these pancakes as if aliens from Roswell would steal them away from the face of the aearth. He, being the good man he always is, decided to drive his wife to the park. The leisure drive to the park almost turned tragic, when he noticed that every car around him was honking. As he struggled to open wide his droopy eyes, Mike noticed that he was driving at 10mph on the fast lane. At this point, his wife also woke up from listening to the Band-cake play fairy tunes, and realized that they had to pull lover. The wife, (don’t think she was better off, she also has a mild attack) drove from there onwards. I am sure you are about to blame me for sleeping during the sermon, but if you ride across the country like I am doing, then you may be granted. However, if none of you have never had a pancake attack, you will join me in lobbying to have Pancake Pantry be changed into a drive through, so that we see what size of queue we will have. Else you may live to say like I do “I feel so blessed by the sermon” whereas you heard nothing of it! For Allison, am coming back to Nashville in 2 weeks for a return match, this time it will be your turn to get an attack!

Have a pancake attack free day, wont you?

[Alli]

I am ready for another attack...you?

[Josef Munuhe]

Great piece. Expressive, descriptive and real. Keep up.

[Jesse Olson]

nice pic mike... busted again with your hand in the chip bag.

[Mike Barrow]

much of what is said here is BASICALLY true. I have discovered one of my many skills developed on the ride is to both sleep and eat AT THE SAME time. Now, if I could just figure out how to drink from a water bottle as I ride that would be bliss...

[Collins]

Hey man I just cant stop laughing!!! I tell you this is the best and in my view your best piece, writing this!! Wa waaa shidwo!!!

[Gregg Mwendwa]

hahaha, more confessiosn will come by, trust me!

[Lisa Rudzik]

Very funny Gregg! We were gonna go to the Pancake Pantry on Sunday morning with Blocker, as well, but we saw the line and chose to find somewhere else to eat!! However, it's a good thing because after hearing your story...that pancake fairy may have attacked us and caused us not to have a safe trip back home. ;)

It was great meeting you this weekend! Have an amazing last 2 weeks!